Despite skeptics’ doubts and numerous challenges, Maryanne and Tommy Pilling, who both had Down syndrome, proved their enduring love by taking the groundbreaking step of getting married in July 1995. Their remarkable love story continues to astonish and inspire thousands worldwide.
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Twenty-seven years have passed since Maryanne and Tommy Pilling made history as the first couple with Down syndrome to marry. However, their journey was far from easy. Hailing from Essex, England, they confronted numerous challenges, including the prejudice and discrimination stemming from their condition.
Their paths crossed at a training center for individuals with learning difficulties, where love blossomed in the kitchen. Despite facing societal biases, Maryanne and Tommy’s connection grew, leading to the start of their romantic relationship.
Born on May 17, 1971, Maryanne was fortunate to have unwavering support from her mother and sister, who served as crucial pillars in her life. Unfortunately, her father rejected her after her birth.
Tommy, born on March 21, 1958, coincidentally on “World Down Syndrome Day,” faced a challenging childhood and became an orphan at the age of 12. Growing up in an Essex care home, he navigated the difficulties of life with resilience.
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At the age of 32, Tommy crossed paths with 19-year-old Maryanne, and surprisingly, their age difference posed no obstacle to their connection. Maryanne’s mother, Linda, vividly remembered her daughter’s joy after their initial meeting.
“After meeting Tommy, Maryanne came home with the biggest smile on her face,” Linda shared with Daily Mail. She continued, “She couldn’t stop talking about him and asked if he could come for dinner.”
Tommy and Maryanne formed a perfect match, sharing not only a deep connection but also a variety of interests, including a love for cooking, watching movies, and dining at restaurants.
Confident that Maryanne was the one for him, Tommy, 18 months into their relationship, made a firm decision to marry her. However, he insisted on proceeding only if Maryanne’s mother, Linda, gave her approval.
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Despite initial hesitations from Maryanne’s family due to criticism in their local community, they eventually gave their blessings, recognizing the couple’s relationship as “magical” and “pure.” Despite skepticism from some who thought the idea was absurd and the union wouldn’t last, Tommy and Maryanne’s enduring love prevailed.
On July 15, 1995, in a beautiful Essex church, Tommy and Maryanne tied the knot in front of 250 guests. To ensure everything was perfect, Maryanne’s mother accompanied Tommy when he bought the ring, highlighting the commitment to making every detail of the celebration impeccable.
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“Maryanne looked like a princess in her exquisite white dress, adorned with a tiara and a long veil. Tommy appeared very dapper in his made-to-measure suit,” penned Maryanne’s sister, Linda Newman. In the presence of family and friends, Maryanne and Tommy exchanged vows, realizing their dream wedding.
Reflecting on the special day, Maryanne shared, “My wedding was the best day of my life. I was shocked when Tommy proposed, but I didn’t have to think twice about saying yes.”
For the initial seven years of their marriage, the couple resided with Maryanne’s sister, Linda. Following this period, they chose to move into the house next door, allowing them both independence and private time. Linda emphasized the importance of this arrangement, stating, “They get their independence, they get their private time which I think is so important for everybody. It works very well; I’m there when they need me,” as told to Daily Mail in 2018.
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Tragically, the couple confronted their most challenging ordeal when Tommy received a devastating diagnosis. In 2014, doctors revealed that Tommy had dementia. Anyone who has witnessed a loved one grappling with dementia understands the profound and merciless impact it can have.
The condition detrimentally affects various functions, including memory, communication, focus, reasoning, and visual perception. This leaves individuals grappling with dementia a mere semblance of their former selves, creating significant challenges for family and friends attempting to connect with them.
Maryanne’s sister, Lindi Newman, shared with Metro in 2019, stating, “He’s forgotten who Maryanne is a handful of times. It always happens really late at night. He pushes her away and says, ‘I don’t know who you are’ and ‘I don’t love you.’ Maryanne takes that to heart and is absolutely crushed and hysterical.” Lindi described the unsettling experience of being called late at night to calm them down: “She calls me up, and I throw on my shoes and go across the road to try and calm them down. It’s scary for Tommy too, but then he forgets anything has happened.”
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Furthermore, towards the close of 2019, Tommy received a positive COVID-19 test result when he was hospitalized with suspected pneumonia. Unfortunately, it developed into a severe case, and two weeks after contracting the virus, Tommy succumbed to the illness. He was 62 years old.
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After the heartbreaking news, an outpouring of condolences inundated the couple’s Facebook page. Linda penned poignant and beautiful words, remembering Tommy as “the best uncle my children could ever ask for.”
“I will cherish the thousands of memories I have with him. Thank you for being you and making the world a better place, touching the lives of millions just by being you. Marriage made you my brother-in-law, love made you my brother,” Linda expressed in her heartfelt tribute.
In a subsequent update, Linda conveyed that Maryanne was “absolutely lost” without her husband.
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People with Down syndrome are incredibly loving and pure. They deserve respect and support, living free from prejudice. I’m glad Maryanne and Tommy could be together and find the happiness they deserved.
Love has no limits, and I hope Maryanne has lots of support now that Tommy is in Heaven. Rest in peace, Tommy. 🙏